The 11 Qualities Men Love Most | Essence (2024)

I’m An Expert On Men, Not Women

It seems like everybody is giving out dating and relationship advice these days. I know there are an abundance of men out there attempting to give you “tips” on how to be become a better woman. Please don’t count me among them; I have no such motives. Before anything else, I am an expert at being a man and it is that expertise that has armed me with the tools I need to have an accurate and effective conversation with you. My aim here is to give you greater insight into what’s going on in our heads. The more you know about men the better your dating experience will be, because you can then be intentional and date responsibly. Here’s a look at the 11 qualities he’ll admire most.

Honesty

Real men respect an honest woman. In fact, they yearn for one. A woman that possesses the ability to be open and honest about what she wants is one that can clearly articulate how she does and doesn’t feel. There’s nothing like it. In a world full of surface interaction your candidness can be refreshing for him.

Empathy

There are a lot of cases where he doesn’t necessarily want to be “right.” He simply wants to be understood. He will never be able to understand in totality what it’s like to be a woman in this world just as you will never be able to fathom what it takes for him to be a man. That’s perfectly fine. However, if you can find it within you to be aware enough to recognize he has a different perspective and to try to see life from his view, he will be forever grateful. This will only prompt him to do the same for you.

Acceptance

One of the worse things you can do is judge a man, especially when it comes to his past life before you. He isn’t asking for forgiveness; he’s merely seeking your acceptance. If he can become comfortable in divulging who he’s been then you’ll never have to guess who he is.

Trustworthy

If he has proven himself to be trustworthy then trust him. He needs to know that you believe in his character. It strengthens him. He isn’t asking you to love blindly but just not be consumed with hypotheticals.

Goal Driven

Every secure goal-driven man is looking for the same in a woman. To know that you have plans outside of him is a true turn on. This actually helps to keep him in check and lets him know there are things in your life that are bigger than him.

Homemaker

I am not suggesting that you walk around with an apron on all day baking biscuits. He isn’t looking for that. But, what he is looking for is someone that can turn a house into a home. He’s seeking someone who is able to give his life some much-needed balance. Yes he needs security as well, especially when it comes to sharing his day-to-day life with you.

Supportive

Every man needs a support system. He wants you to genuinely believe in him. There are more than enough critics in the world. Be his fan and support his worthwhile dreams. If the woman who has his heart believes in him, it will only cause him to become a better man.

Down-to-Earth

There’s nothing like a woman that’s down for whatever and comfortable in her stilettos and his Jordan’s as well. He relishes this quality as it allows him to put his guard down and helps to do away with his preoccupation to always impress you with flashy dates and things.

A Firm Foundation

He loves that you have standards and he loves it even more that you stick to them. Standards give him something to live up to. Real men don’t mind them, and in fact, your standards cause them to rise up to the level to which they have been set.

Authenticity

He appreciates when you are exactly who you say you are at all times. As much as he wants you to be empathetic and understanding, he doesn’t want you to pull punches. He would love to read your mind, but he can’t. So, speak it. He will appreciate and respect you for it.

Drive

Everybody loves a hustler. Someone who works hard at whatever it is they are doing. That is a sexy trait on a woman if there ever was one. Such a quality not only turns him on but will also encourage him to work even harder at his respective dreams and endeavors.

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Relationships expert and author Kevin Carr